PMS

A post dedicated to the beauties of the menstrual cycle. Everything seems a whole lot bigger then they really are. So please disregard this post while I just get a few things out of my system.

-Boys should cater to girls, not the other way around. They should be there for every single whim their girlfriend has. Just saying.
-Calling a girl fat isn't funny. Calling a girl on her period fat, is asking for death. Even if it is a joke, DON"T DO IT.
-When a girl says she wants to go out to eat, you damn well better take her out to eat. I don't want to sound like an uber brat, but I'm on my period. Give me a break.
-Don't post your life stories up on facebook. It's getting on my nerves because everytime I get on facebook, I have to hear about the fight that you and your bestfriend had this weekend.
-Don't ask my boyfriend to do you favors. That's my job. If you need something done, you ask me, and I'll ask him.
-School sucks and has no point to it. So my solution is simple: I don't go. And I am sick and tired of people telling me I am going to fail math. Obviously I know that. And do I look like I give a damn? Nope. Because I don't. But thanks for your unnecessary caring.
-I realize that boys need boy time. Girls do too. All you gotta do is tell me that. Don't make a big fuss and argument over something stupid. kaythanks.
-Hi English teacher. Yes I just walked into your class a half hour late with a starbucks chai frappe. And yes you just decided to point it out to the whole class. Now shut your mouth and get back to the lesson.
-I wish I could live at Austin's 24/7. My parents wonder why I am never home. Well duh dad, when you call me fat and yell at me for 25 minutes straight, I tend to want to give you in the balls.

That felt good. Thank you and goodnight.

Detour.

So obviously I have not written in a while. I apologize. The reasons are... well... who really knows? But mainly just because I am a big fat lazy failure. It's fine. But I have decided to take a little break from the thirty day challenge because it is starting to drive me absolutely crazy. So the remainder of this post will be my thoughts on what has happened in my life for the past couple of weeks.

First things first. Drill.

Now you would think that since region is over, drill would calm down a bit, right? Wrong. It has actually gotten quite a bit more crazy. Our junior drill clinic and showcase is coming up so we have to choreograph two dances, plus the trio my friends and I are doing. Not to mention re-cleaning competition dances and re-learning camp routines. PLUS we are to provide two boys for two dances that will also be performed at the showcase. Stressful? I thought so. State games and tryouts are also right around the corner. State games should be fun. Except for the fact that we won't know if we will be performing until about... A few hours before the game begins. Not a big deal at all. Ha. Tryouts are the main thing on my mind right now though. Not because I am worried about not making the team, ( well, that too.) but mostly because we have got to expand the team... A lot. Otherwise they are canceling the drill program. So the last month has consisted of trying to recruit girls. Tryouts also mean that we lose this years team. This fact absolutely rips my heart to shreds. Unless you have been on a team as close as mine, then this will sounds stupid. But these girls are the whole reason I have made it through sophomore year. They are the reason I get up at fice every morning, and go work my butt off at drill. They are my team. My family. My sisters. And I can't imagine not having our seniors around next year. But anyways, onto the next topic.

Driving.


Just barely got my permit. I am super stoked, but this also stresses me out a lot more then it should because it means I will be getting my license soon. Which leads to one major fact: I need a car. If I want to be driving when I turn sixteen, then I need to start saving up for a car. Which means my summer will consist of three things, and three things only. Drill, work, and sleep. Goodbye social life. Which leads us to our third topic.

The Boyfriend.


Our relationship has been really... off lately. Very high highs and very low lows. An absolute bipolar relationship. Now this may be due to the fact that I have just been PMS beyond belief lately. And the kid is amazing for putting up with me for so long. (Five months and six days, to be exact.) But I honestly don't know how much longer he is going to hold on. I don't really know what to think of our relationship, seeings how it's my first real one, and I am planning on it being my last. Is that normal? I don't know. It just seems like whenever someone gets a shot at love, they hold on for dear life. The simplest upset can send someone's world crashing down because people are too careless and take love for granted. I for one, am not one of those people. And neither is Austin. We both realize that love is a very fragile thing, and that not very many people get the privilege of experiencing what we get to every day. And I would be absolutely devastated if that was taken away from me. He is such a sweetheart and my rock that keeps me standing when all I want to do is give up. But then I think... Is this how everyone feels in their first real relationship? I doubt it. Now onto topic four.

My Future.


I have been thinking about it so much lately. I was in St. George all weekend and the whole time, my grandpa was trying to talk me into going to Dixie college so I could live near them. It really got thinking about my options. I  have been severely unmotivated this year and have been letting my grades slip. And I have a feeling I am going to regret it in the long run. It makes me sick just thinking about it.


So there is just a little insight on what is going on in my life currently. I have an amazing life with amazing people in it, don't get me wrong. But a girl has got to vent every once in a while, right?

Day 12.

Because it is a saturday, and it is 2:38, I will be bulletting yesterday. (Merely, because it was far more entertaining then today has been.

BULLET YOUR WHOLE DAY:

• Woke up and got ready for school. (Partially)
• Went to school. (This was also partial)
• Took the permit test in study skills. Failed. Epically.
• Went to math. Secretly wanted to punch a certain someone in the face. Stupid know-it-alls.
• Went home during third. Huge English test I so was not ready for.
• Went to lunch at Wendy's. My cute boyfriend knows exactly what to get me every time.
• Went to chemistry. I am actually starting to get the hang of it.
• Tawnia and I went to my house after school. Sat in the bathroom listing to music and talking. Typical.
• Went to target and got some cute stuff for Sadie's. So pumped(:
• Went to Mitchell's. Watched them play 2k11 for a while.
• Looked at a sick-nasty picture of Hunter's missing finger.
• Went to pick up Mitchell's friend Kaden from physical therapy. Awkward.
• Dropped him off and went to pick up our awesome asian friend Tommy. He is super sweet.
• Decided to answer back Brianna, (Mitch's date) for Sadie's. And struggled. A lot.
• Went to partyland to get balloons and candy and ish.
• Tried to find a box at partyland to put all the ish in. They did not have one that was big enough.
• Went to The Home Depot to find a box. They also did not have one that was big enough.
• Talked to a super sweet mexican guy who gave us a box that a refrigerator came in. It was big enough.
• Tried to drive to Brianna's but realized the box did not fit in Matchell's car.
• Shoved the box in Matchell's car.
• Had to back seat drive Matchell all the way from Lehi to Lone Peak because he could not see to the right of him.
• Almost died. More than once.
• Got to Brianna's and had to put together her box outside. It was freezing and I had to pee.
• Put it on Brianna's doorstep and almost got caught. But not really.
• Lost Tawnee.
• Found Tawnee.
• Drove back to Matchell's.
• Kissed my cute boyfriend hello and had a piece of pizza.
• Went to the movies.
• Didn't go to the movies because Tanner is dyslexic.
• Went to SmartCookie to buy a frozen hot chocolate. Got really disappointed because they were out of syrup. Idiots.
• Played tag in the Cinemark parking lot.
• Went to Cold Stone.
• Went to 7/11.
• Went to Wingshack.
• Went back to Matchell's.
• Got in the hot tub.
• Got out of the hot tub.
• Got cramps really bad.
• Laid on the couch with my cute boyfriend and fell asleep.
• Woke up and went home.
• Talked to my mom for a bit, and decided to go to bed.
• Tried to get in bed but fell and hurt my knee really bad.
• Finally got in bed and fell asleep.

THE END.
Well that sure was the most obnoxious post ever.

Day 11.

Shuffle of the Ipod.
1) The Best Deceptions- Dashboard Confessional.
2) Are You Ready- Hannah Montana.
3) Remembering Sunday- All Time Low.
4) Say When- The Fray.
5) Runaway- Kanye West.
6) The Party Scene- All Time Low.
7) 2012- Jay Sean Ft. Nicki Minaj.
8) Crawl- Chris Brown.
9) Teenage Dream- Katy Perry.
10) Beautiful Ending- Barlow Girls.

Day 10.

The first love.
Hmm. This is kind of a touchy subject. Not because it ended badly or anything, but because I'm not quite sure who it was? Wow. That sounds extremely skanky. Let me put it this way. My first "love" was my best best friend. So even though I did love him, I am not quite sure you can say it is the kind of love that every girl wants in this life. They say that the best relationships always come out of a great friendship. And I truly truly believe that. It's just that.. I was so young when all of this went down. So I don't think it necessarily counts as a first love. I will admit though, I had a crush on my best friend from pre-school, all the way until freshman year. Then things went down hill. He made some choices and hung around kids that I didn't want to be associated with. I tried being there for him, but he just made it so hard because I have always had my mind set on not ever putting myself in the situations that he was in. So I finally just... stopped. I didn't talk to him, I didn't see him, I just kind of gave up on him. Now of course, I had boyfriends and other crushes besides him throughout my entire pre-teen/teenage years, but he was always kind of the main focus. The one I would drop everything for. The one I trusted more then any other guy. And I struggled really bad letting him go. I still do. And I want to say that he was my first love, because I did love him. A lot. I just can't be sure that it was a "love love". It went on for so long, that I believe it was real, but we were both just so young that I don't think we were mature enough to feel those feelings for each other. Which leads me to where I am now. I am, in fact, one hundred percent sure that I love Austin. No doubt about it. But I am not quite sure he is my first love. But it is real, no question. So I'll leave this one up to you. Who was the first? Your call(:

Day 9.

How do I picture my future being? umm... let's just say, I have not a clue. I have been thinking about college a whole lot lately. Not something I am totally looking forward too. Honestly, I don't even really want to go to college. But it is expected of me. The only problem is, I don't even know what college I want to go to. And truth is, I don't really care. All I know is.. I want to be a psychologist. The kind who work with screwed up teenagers. (But that also changes on a daily basis.) But going to school to be a psychologist probably takes a long time too. Of course. So some other options:
-A writer. I love writing. Surprise, surprise right? But I don't want to be a journalist. Or anything along those lines, for that matter. So unless I right some award winning novel, then I don't see that being part of my future.
-A singer. I know, I know, I need to be realistic. But truth is, I am. Singing is one of those things that I absolutely cannot live without. It's my whole form of expressing myself. And I don't want to sound cocky or anything, but I honestly think I am good enough to make a living off of it. Just an option.

So as for the whole "school after school" ordeal, that is still a wide open field of decisions that is yet to be made. But here is how I would LOVE for my future to turn out:
Spend the rest of my high school years just living it up. This is the time when I can just be crazy and not have a single care in the world. I wish it would never end, but I know it will. So I might as well make the best of it while i can. Graduate. Obviously. Move into a little apartment with a whole lot of friends. Take a year and just travel. I want to explore the world. As cheesy as that sounds, it's true. Get a job at a Juvenile Delinquent center. Help the kids find their way back to a healthy life. Get married. Preferably at a younger age. I can't wait to be able to come home after a long days work, and just cuddle up next to my husband(: haa. Have kids. Lots of them. At least seven. Watch them all grow up, trying hard to be the best parent a girl could be. After they all move out, spend time getting closer to my husband. Then watch my kids have some kids of their own. Get as close as possible to my grandchildren. Be a hardworking older woman, in a big house, with nice cars. Quite the dream life, right?
Anyways. It's way to much to think about for now. I can't promise I ever will have a set plan. But being spontaneous and indecisive are two of my greatest qualities, right?

Day 8.

Well since I currently feel close to many people, I feel totally and completely obligated to post numerous pictures. I know, I know, that's breaking the rules. But I am a super rebel. But you already knew that right? (;

Austin Tidwell.
I feel as if I have expressed how I feel about him enough, and that you all get the idea(: I love him. End of story.

Tawneelyn Jordan.

This girl has been with me through all of my ups and downs. We fight like sisters, but I know she has always got my back.

Alison Hegerhorst.

Been best friends since fifth grade. Don't know what I would do without this girl. She keeps me thinking straight, and is always there when I need someone to talk to.

The Entire American Fork Drill Team. (Coaches Included.)

An entire family outside of my own. 'Nuff said.

I can't thank any of these people enough. They have greatly impacted my life, and just the fact that they took a step into it was a major blessing on its own. Thank you all(: