SWITCHING TO TUMBLR.

Attention all Bloggers. My computer is broken, so I have to blog from my phone. Unfortunately, Blogspot doesn't work on my phone. So I am going to go through tumblr. Feel free to check that one.

becauseofthelittlethings.tumblr.com

Too Lost.

My life is just way to crazy to keep up with this thing. Some big changes in my life: I quit drill. What? I know. But don't you fret. I have moved on to bigger and better things. Dance Company(: I love love love it. It's one million thousand times better than drill. And the whole school doesn't hate it like they do drill! I could write about all the drama that's going on, but that would just bring me down to the levels of people that are most definitely below me. You know who you are and I am almost positive you will read this(: Just know that the best way to drive someone crazy, is to be nice to them. It's hilarious. Anywho, you know that boy I was so sure I would marry? Yeah. We broke up. If you were to ask me why, I would simply state that I have not a freaking clue. One day he just dropped me off and that was it. Was I hurt? A little. But definitely not as much as last time. Did it change our relationship? Ha. Not really. But things are slowly fading and it is getting harder and harder. I know I shouldn't be public about this, but when you don't really have anyone to talk to, a blog is all you've got. I just really don't know what he wants. One minute he regrets ever breaking up with me, and the next minute he doesn't want anything to do with me. It's making my mind go all crazy like. But he is still my best friend, and he probably always will be. So I guess that's good. At least he's not dead or anything right? Well that's about it bloggers.

Have a nice day(:

I'm Here.

Uhhh hi. I'm alive and all is well. Well...partially. It's so crazy to me how one change in your life can upset the simplest things; like updating your blog. Who knew? Well anyways, I feel as if I at least owe my readers (if there are any out there) a skim of an explanation as to why I fell off the face of the planet. Here goes nothin'.

Day 1: I get in the car after school, absolutely oblivious to the fact that my father was gone. The first words spoken to me was "your dad left." No he's not dead or anything of the sort, but he was dead to me. Saying I freaked out would have been an absolute understatement. You know how people say your numb after something big happens to you? That's not true. Well, for me at least. An unfaithful man is one of the sickest things to me. Especially if that man has a family. Now, you may think I am being a little too dramatic about the whole thing, but it wasn't just the cheating and lying and sneaking around that he got himself into. It was alcohol, chew, and who knows what else. I just don't understand how you can go out and do whatever it was that my father did, and then come home and look at your kids, and your wife, and your home, and not have a guilty conscience. And when confronted by my mother, he still did not fess up. He tried to weasel his way through yet ANOTHER lie. After all was said and done, the rest of the family and I decided to go stay with my aunt for a couple of days. Thus resulting in my mother and I's drive home to pick up clothes and such. Just my luck, my dad was there. I stormed past him to my room, trying to ignore his existance. But sure enough, he followed me, begging for a chance to explain. I shut out his weak excuses, and when asked for a hug and an "I Love You" before I left, I shoved past him. He moved out, and the rest of my family stayed with my aunt for a few days. He countinued to call and text and drop by, but I always found an excuse to avoid contact with him. But as for the rest of my family, including my mom, the situation was very different. They all talked to him and the other kids went to dinner with him and things like that, but not me. Everyone keeps telling me I am going to have to forgive him sometime. That everything will be back to normal soon. But everyone is not getting it. The "normal" I had before, didn't make me happy. Everyone is trying to pretend like we were some happy family with not a worry in the world before everything happened, but truth is, we weren't. My dad and I haven't gotten along for years. And it isn't the immature teenager stage or anything like that. I hated him because, deep down, I knew all along the things he was doing. I could just feel it. With every look I wasted upon him, I got a feeling of disgust. I truly hated him. And I am fully aware of how selfish that sounds, considering he is my father, and he does pay for everything I do. But that doesn't excuse the fact that he not only cheated on my mother, but on my entire family. He finally got sick of me ingoring him, and just barged into my home and started yelling at me. The entire conversation was about how I shut him out years ago, which pretty much makes the whole situation my fault. Which is partially true, because I did shut him out. He yelled and fought for my forgiveness and love, but let me tell you something. When you hate someone, you still care for them. As much as you hate to admit it, you feel for that person. Because by saying that you hate someone, that means that they did something that hurt you. And just the fact that they have that power to hurt you, means that you care, no matter how small the amount may be. Now, when you stop caring, and when their actions have no affect on you whatsoever, that's when they are no longer a part of you. I don't hate my father anymore. I simply lost all hope and all feelings. I am numb to his mistakes, and I don't want him in my life anymore. I am done arguing with him, simply because he is not in the right state of mind, and he just doesn't know right from wrong. I am so over all this, and I'm so ashamed to even call him my father.

Well that's the latest drama in my life. Don't you hate it when the people you are supposed to look up to betray you beyone belief? Because I sure do.

Stop Feeling Sorry.

This little thought has just been itching at the back of my mind. I am so sick and tired of hearing how awful some people think their lives are. And I feel so entirely hypocritical saying this, since that is mainly all this blog is filled with; posts about how terrible my life is. And yet, here I am, writing on this computer, in a home, with food in the pantry, clothes in my closet, and I still have the nerve to complain about a lousy breakup, or the stupid glare I sometimes get from my peers. I don't mean to get all churchy on you all, (if there is anyone even reading this,) but I'd like to share my experience in seminary today. Our assignment was to share our favorite scripture, and a story to follow if we wished. An extremely obnoxiously happy girl gets up to share hers, and it's about persevereing to the end and knowing that you have always got God on your side. She then precede to talk about her life in foster care. She was adopted in her early childhood, abused for years, and then placed back into her foster care. I sat there just thinking, here I am, feeling sorry for myself on a daily basis for the stupidest reasons. Like not having a car, or not going to a sale I wanted to go to. It's pathetic, and it's ridiculous. While I am sitting in my desk at school, not taking full advantage of my oppourtunity to have an education, there is a child somewhere else in the world, that can only not afford schooling, but can't even afford to have clothes on his back, shoes on his feet, or even food on the table everyday. I advise you not to take for granted a single luxury you are given, because you never know how quickly in can be ripped right out from under you. Always keep in mind that you will never be given a situation that you cannot handle, and always remember that there is and there WILL ALWAYS BE many many people out there that have a much harder life than you do. And how do I know that, you may ask? Well, if you are lucky enough to have a computer to be reading this, then I guarantee you have a pretty dang good life, regardless of whether or not your trials are barable.

Look around.
Notice your blessings.
And give something to someone else today.

Days Like Today.

I hate days like today. I wake up, feeling good about myself, and I'm ready to take on whatever comes my way. But then you come in contact with ignorant, selfabsorbed ass holes. Excuse my language. But it amazes me how much a single person can turn my day from having the potential to being amazing, to a very, very bad day. I wake up  this morning, ready to go to attendance, and feeling motivated to get my butt in gear before school ends. The day will consist of an assembly, the very first drill practice of the season, and a captain parent meeting after. I was so excited, and certain people just ruin my entire mood. Here I am, trying to congratulate a dear friend of mine, and they don't even have the decency to come up and say hi. And then ANOTHER close friend of mine, stabs me in the back with her dick of a boyfriend. Which shouldn't surprise me, because that is nothing new. Today is one of those days when everything everyone does bugs me. Maybe its just the PMS talking, but seriously. Somethimes I wonder why God put so many retards on this earth.

Enjoy your day.
I'll try to do the same.

Moving On.

Dear Austin,

I hope you don't get mad at me for posting this, and I hope you are not angry about the things I am about to say. I wish I could say this to you in person, because you deserve more than a lousy blog post. But I have never been good at expressing myself, and you know that better than anyone. In all honesty, I love you more than I have ever loved another human being. And I wish it didn't have to end like this, but you and I both know that it is the only way. Our relationship wasn't a healthy thing. But don't get me wrong. I don't regret a second of our time together. I had some of the best memories come out of our relationship, and you taught me so much about myself. You taught me that I can do anything I set my mind to. You showed me how strong I really am. You taught me that I am actually worth something. You showed me that it IS possible to be a perfect person. You never frowned, and I loved that about you. You never hated, nor expected anything in return for giving so much. And I admire you for that. You are not selfish in any way, shape, or form. And I can't wait to see you grow into something more than you have already become. I hope you realize how amazing you truly are. You are going places with your life. Don't let anyone tell you different. You are your own person. You are truly beautiful, inside and out. I just want to tell you that I am OK with everything that has happened between us, because I know you will worry about it way more than you should. I want to say thank you for all of the amazing times. Thank you for all the money that you spent on me. Thank you for the amazing dates we went on. Thank you for the Christmas presents, the cafe rio and subway runs, and all the great times you gave me. No one could make me laugh like you could, so thank you for that, too. Thank you for showing me the world from a completely different view. Thank you for helping me to not be afraid to try new things. Thank you for all of the baseball games, and thank you for the amazing weekends. Thank you for showing me what love really is. But most importantly, thank you for being a friend. I am so grateful that that is still what you are to me. Because in all honesty, I couldn't go a day without your warm smile brightening my day. You are my whole world, and I hope you realize that you hold the key to my heart. You always will. Tell your family how much they mean to me, because you know that I won't be able to do that myself. Your family was always there when I felt as if mine wasn't. Your father is one of the wisest men I have ever met. Please listen to him and his advice he gives. Because in the end, he will always be right. Please spend more time with your mother. I know I always told you otherwise, because I was selfish and wanted you for myself, but she does more for you than you will ever know. And she cherishes every moment you spend with her. Please try and be around for your little brother more. I can see that he looks up to you, and you could make a big impact in his life if you really tried to. Tell Mitchell thank you for being such a great listener. And such a great teacher(: (He will know what that means.) Always remember how happy your step parents make your parents. Please don't ever give up when it comes to sports. You are amazing, regardless of how you play for one game. Please go through school with the same attitude that you have always had. And don't ever change how hard of a worker you have turned into. I hope you know that I wouldn't change a thing about the way we went through our lives for those seven months. And now we know what not to do in our future relationships. I hope you find a girl that fits you perfect, because you deserve nothing but the best. I am always here for you. And I mean that whole heartedly. I owe you so much, and I probably won't ever be able to give back everything that you gave me. You changed my life forever, and I wouldn't have wanted it any other way. I am not going to lie to you though, I am going to miss you as my guy more than you will ever know. I will miss when you hold me and kiss me, but the thing I will miss more than anything else, is the fact that I always knew you were there and that you loved me. But I can't wait for our future together as best friends. Because that is what we are now. And you are not going to be able to get rid of me, no matter how hard you try(: Please PLEASE always come to me with your problems. That is the whole reason I am here. I want to help you in every way that I possibly can. So again, thank you so much for all you have taught me. Never change the person you are, because you are so so amazing. I can't say enough how much I love you. But just know that I do more than words could ever explain. I love you, and I always will no matter where this crazy world takes us. You have stolen my heart.. princess(:

09/17/2010-04/25/2011

What an amazing 237 days.

Love always,

Kalen.

Remember When.

Lately my life has been filled with far too many of these. I always catch myself saying, "remember when this and this happened? yeah.. I miss that." I miss a lot of things. I miss kissing tag. I miss scraped knees. I miss when boys had cooties. I miss when fights occurred on a daily basis, but you were over them within ten minutes. I miss crayons. I miss grass stains. I miss when your biggest worry was whether or not your mom was making meat loaf for dinner. I miss being young and carefree. Now all your worries are about what college your going to, what guy your planning on marrying, how far you went with your boyfriend last weekend, what the last fight was about between you and your parents, how horrible your grades are this week, which friend got hooked on marijuana last week. It's awful. I hate it. And I wish things would go back to the way they used be. But is that really possible? Can you just tweek everything to the point where your whole adolescence life is back in your hands? Because people change. They are always changing. They are growing up every second of every day. The girl you were best friends with in sixth grade, is a completely different girl that you pass by in the hallway today, while trying to avoid eye contact. Is it possible to be so compatible with the same people you were with in sixth grade, even if you and them have grown into something completely opposite? I honestly don't think that is how it works. You grew apart for a reason. And unless fate has some twisted future in mind for you, you can't grow back together just because you decide that that is what you want. It doesn't work that way. It never has. I wish this would stop happening to me.

I miss the old me.
Please come back.

Who Says You're Not Perfect.

The term "hot" has never quite made sense to me. Who ever came up with comparing high temperatures to looks, was an absolutely idiot. Call me old fashioned, but calling a girl "hot" is a bit of an insult. We prefer words like, beautiful. Or pretty. Please refrain from assuming we have a fever as high as a kite. Speaking of beautiful, who decided what was beautiful? Please explain to me, when the point in time came that someone stepped up and said, "I think beauty is clear skin. I think beauty is zero fat, and chizzled abs. I think beauty is smooth hair and expensive clothing." Who decided that? And please tell me why on earth people ever agreed to believe that. Beauty should come from the inside. When calling a girl beautiful, you should be referring to her soul. A beautiful soul. Because if a girl has a beautiful soul, it should show on the outside, as well as the inside. The texture of your skin, your weight, or the brand of clothes you wear shouldn't stop you from feeling beautiful. Anyone can be beautiful. But it's up to you to decide if you want to be that way or not.

On another note.
Today. Was a fantastic day.
Found out we have a coach. Meeting her thursday!!!(: so so excited.
Our whole team is coming back. I love them all.
Went to lunch. Twice. With Austin, believe it or not. Nerd never leaves for lunch.
Got the permit. FINALLY.
Baseball game. I love baseball.
I think I may have been kissed by the sun. I'll keep you posted.
I am feeling quite a bit better.
Met a new friend, and caught up with a few old ones.
Laughed. A lot.

I love my life. I'm on fire today.

Flipped.

Ever have those days when your just so... what's the word... frazzled, if I may?
I just can't get over the fact that our entire school is being tipped upside down. Football players are trying out for cheer, drill girls are trying out for dance co, everyone.. and I mean EVERYONE, is without a club currently. And it's blowing my mind how big of a change everything is becoming. But that's okay, because change happens for a reason. So it's like... Whatever(:

On another note. Yesterday was mine and Champ's seven month. Cute(: It's killing me that it has been that long. I feel like it was just yesterday he was asking me to homecoming. He has been such a good boyfriend lately. Calling me after baseball like.. everyday and asking if I wanna go get food, or just want to hang out. It's pretty cute. And I love him.

Drill still doesn't have a coach. I'm going crazy. And I'm getting fat. Soooo... make a decision stupid principal. Like now. kaythanks.

School is over in six weeks, and I still have.. what is it... 16 absences to make up? That's right people. I have to go to absence school 16 times before school is over. Don't ask how I'm gunna pull that off.

I have been so sick for the past week. Just freaking kill me already.

Some boys are so dramatic it's ridiculous. Grow up already. We're in high school now.

Spring break was a blast. Not very different from any other weekend, but still a blast. Trafalga gets better and better every time I go there.

School needs to end A.S.A.P.

People need to stop dying. Suicide is dumb. Stop it.


kay I'm good now. peace and blessings.

The Best Friends.

I feel as though I don't thank my friends enough. And I am not one one for pouring my heart and soul out to someone on a whim. It's just not my thing. But I am just so sick and tired of reading people's blogs, and hearing about how awful their lives are and how they cannot trust anyone. Get over yourselves people. Stop feeling sorry for yourself, and be a little friendlier. Because I promise not everyone in the world hates you. So in honor of proving that, I'd like to offer a sincere thank you to my closest friends; the people in which I trust more than anyone else in this world. Thanks for always being there.

Tawnee Wiane Jordan.

Madalyn Leigh Bowden.

Brinley McAfee.

Kilee Pearl Casey.

Stephanie Gladwin.

Austin Reid Tidwell.

Dylan Pendleton.

Mitchell Jeppson.

ALSO. A little recap on last night. It was really good. Went to Ty's, watched Zombieland, smoked I mean, played everyone in just dance, played guesstures, drove Ty to the gas station, played hide and seek, (mind you, the youngest one playing was josh..who is almost 15.) and then watched 8 mile. It was simple. It was fantastic. Oh and happy birthday to Jordan(:

Enjoy today.

It's beautiful.

And so are you.

Sometimes, People Are Stupid.

Sometimes, people are stupid.
-And sometimes, people plow you over in the school hallway as if you do not exist. And if that's not bad enough, they then proceed to turn around, look you RIGHT IN THE EYE, and fail to apologize. Just because they are stupid.
-And sometimes, people tap there foot over and over and over and over and over again throughout your entire chemistry test in which you were already having a hard time focusing on. And then you tell them to knock it off, and they then proceed to tell you to shut up. And then YOU get in trouble for talking during a test. Not the foot-tapping psycho.
-And sometimes, people are petty and judgmental. You try to have a conversation with an ego-maniac, and the only reply a petty person has is, "yeah, whatever." But by that they really mean, "why are you talking to me? You are annoying me. Go away." Yeah well, whatever to you, too, you insensitive moron. Get over yourself.
 -And sometimes, people invite your ex-boyfriend to your current boyfriends house, without OKing that with your current boyfriend first. And that same person eats dinner at your house more than you do. And that same person knows your garage code and goes into your house when no one is home. And it annoys everyone to the point that the father of the household finally has to step in and ask them kindly, to not come over uninvited. Take a freaking hint, you idiot. And stop moping around while your at it.
-And sometimes, people tell you not to cheat. Truth is NERD, is that the teacher just told us to compare answers on our homework. So I don't quite think that it's considered cheating when your teacher asks you to do it. So stop threatening to tell on me. How old are you, four?

Sometimes, people are stupid.

Oh Hey.

Well looky looky here. I got an award(: Thanks to the fabulous Calea Bagley. She is quite the doll. In honor of the award, I'm supposed to pick ten other "versatile bloggees." Here's to you.

Taelor.
Tawnee.
Kaylee.
Chloe.
Mady.
Megan.
Hillary.
Kenzie.
Jo.
Annie.

Passion.

pas.sion

[pash-uhn]

-noun

1. Any powerful or compelling emotion, such as love or hate.

2. Strong amorous feeling or desire; love; adore.

A simple word; yet so complex at the same time. A burden to carry every time its luscious sound rolls off your tongue. A want. A need. A feeling stronger than the binds holding your body together. Passion. 

I have passion. I am filled so full with passion, that my eyes rain every time I feel that passion isn't present. I have a passion to dance. I have a passion to sing. I have a passion to love. 

My advice? Don't be afraid of it. So many people lose the passion in their lives, because they are afraid it will blow up in their face. What would life be without passion? Without something to work for? To desire? I'll tell you. Worthless. Your life will be worthless without this emotion in your life. Mark my words. 

Have a little passion.

Set goals.

Work for something.

Love immensely.

Live fearless.

And don't hold back.

You've got one shot in this life. Take it and milk it for all it's worth, or let it pass you right on by.

The choice is yours.

Prom.

Yes. You guessed it. Prom. Full of all the glitz and glam and fancy dresses you could ever imagine. I can't even begin to explain how amazing my very first prom was. Not to mention my adorable date(: So I figured pictures speak louder than words. Enjoy.

The day date. Paintball. AKA PAINball. I have welts. It's fine though. Oh and aren't we just adorable?

No.

The awkward part of Prom.

Like I said. Awkward. But then my cute little cousin brought me these flowers.

(Props to Morgan Jo Nelson for the hair. Thank you so so much. It looked fantastic.)

Then onto the dinner and dancing portion. Goodwood is definitely good.

Wow. Cheesy. But I guess were pretty cool. The night then proceeded with the actual prom part, and then to Dre's grandma's for a little Avatar watching. I was out within ten minutes. The night was fantastic. Sunday consisted of the color festival. Not really part of prom, but it was exceptionally fun. So whatev's.

Before.

After.

Let's just say it was a good weekend. Hat's off to Prizzom. And a big thank you to the boyfrann. 

Mixed.

So I am having mixed feelings. If you know me, you know this is usual. But still. So my drill team has a possibility of getting cut. Just peachy. End of the term is friday. Guess who has three F's and two NC's? That's right. This girl. I was stressed. But guess what? I'm not anymore. Because I believe that everything will fall into place. (Plus, I turned in a freaking buttload of homework today. And milked the teachers. And possibly lied a couple times. No big deal.) Registration was this week, also. Let's just say, skyward is a pain in the ay-ess-ess. But don't you fret. I got all the classes I wanted(: I am pretty much fluent in french. Just saying. Oh and I just want to have a baby. No not when I get older, now. Right now. But don't worry. I won't do anything stupid. 

On another note. Let me just run by you some things that have gone down the past week.

Our drill showcase was last week. Last time dancing as a team. Ever. I bawled. Then, our coach told us she was not returning. I cried some more. Then, I went to Chilli's and everything was much better. The next night was our high school's talent show, in which I competed in. One of the best experiences. I made so many friends, and had a blast singing on stage for the first time in a while. Austin was out of town last weekend. So I had a girls night with none other that Tawnia and Mady. Check out their blogs. They're great(: Hung out with the boyfriend sunday, monday, tuesday, and wednesday. Left for Mesquite thursday morning. Got a tan, watched some baseball, and had a blast. Got back saturday. Hung out with the boyfriend again. He watched a little princess with me, and we took crazy pictures after. Yesterday, Austin came over and we did homework. First time he has ever been inside my house. Crazy right? Six months last thursday. Prom this weekend. Basketball game tonight. Couldn't be more excited. Peace and love.

Life is beautiful. Enjoy it.

Amen.

I know it probably won't mean a thing, and no one who cares is going to see this. But I have a friend who is joining the military, and I just thought I would put it out there how brave I think his choice is. It is a big decision, and he will be leaving everything behind to go serve his country. Our army men are incredible, and I will never be able to thank them enough. They risk their lives on a daily basis, and I can't imagine ever having the strength or courage to ever do that. And a big thank you to their friends and families that put up with the fear of losing them every day.

Go With It.

Life is an awkward thing. We all want to have a life just like a fairytale. With that one prince charming, the castle to live in, the beautiful gowns you wear as everyday clothing, and a happy ending.
Reality check. Life is not a fairytale. It's a test. It tests your strengths, and it tests your weaknesses. You have to search hard for your prince charming. Castle-like houses are hard to come by, without a butt load of money. Clothing consists of jeans and a t-shirt, and on rare occasions, a fancy dress. Happy endings are a lot of work; they are possible, but come with a price.
Life is an awkward thing. It is full of heartache, misery, and far too many goodbyes. People walk in and out of your life like it's nothing. Things happen, and people change. Challenges are thrown at you from all directions, all at once. You feel like you are alone 95% of the time.
But here's a secret: Your not.
The greatest thing about life is that it happens. It happens to everyone. This makes life so great because it gives you a reason to relate to people. To talk to people. To get close to people. Like I said before, people walk in and out of your life faster than you expect. And it hurts. It always does. But instead of living in the past and moping about "what could have been," you be grateful they were in your life. If even for a little while. Because, even it they did nothing but torment your entire being, at least they made an impact. Even if you see it as a negative impact. But truth is, there are no negative impacts. Because without people screwing everything up, then nobody else could learn from their mistakes. And let's be honest. We are all human. No one is going to do everything perfect. Not one single person. People fight, and people change. Sorry to say, but there isn't one single thing you can do about it. That's something I have just recently accepted. And I have found that the best thing you can do, is go with it. Live it up while you can. Don't sweat the small stuff, and don't worry about pleasing everyone. Because you never will. And that is perfectly fine. If someone can't stand you, then they can simply sit down. Because you're you. And you shouldn't change that for anyone. So please, for the sake of every living thing on this earth, own who you are. Because I can guarantee that there is someone out there who loves you for who you are, and not for what your trying to be. Every day, ask yourself, "If I were to die today, would I be content with my life and the way I lived it?" And if your not, then change something. Because it can all be ripped right out from under you in a heartbeat. Look to the future, and hope for the best. Work hard, and if you don't succeed in getting what you dream of, then try again. Love everyone and don't live in the past. You can't change it, so the best thing you can do is strive to be a better your and work for a better tomorrow. Don't live with any regrets and embarrass yourself. Being humble is a good thing. Get involved in everything possible, and get close to as many people as you can. Don't be afraid of heartache. It will happen, so learn from it and move on. Simple. Life is a beautiful thing. Life is a crazy thing. But you just gotta Go With It.

PMS

A post dedicated to the beauties of the menstrual cycle. Everything seems a whole lot bigger then they really are. So please disregard this post while I just get a few things out of my system.

-Boys should cater to girls, not the other way around. They should be there for every single whim their girlfriend has. Just saying.
-Calling a girl fat isn't funny. Calling a girl on her period fat, is asking for death. Even if it is a joke, DON"T DO IT.
-When a girl says she wants to go out to eat, you damn well better take her out to eat. I don't want to sound like an uber brat, but I'm on my period. Give me a break.
-Don't post your life stories up on facebook. It's getting on my nerves because everytime I get on facebook, I have to hear about the fight that you and your bestfriend had this weekend.
-Don't ask my boyfriend to do you favors. That's my job. If you need something done, you ask me, and I'll ask him.
-School sucks and has no point to it. So my solution is simple: I don't go. And I am sick and tired of people telling me I am going to fail math. Obviously I know that. And do I look like I give a damn? Nope. Because I don't. But thanks for your unnecessary caring.
-I realize that boys need boy time. Girls do too. All you gotta do is tell me that. Don't make a big fuss and argument over something stupid. kaythanks.
-Hi English teacher. Yes I just walked into your class a half hour late with a starbucks chai frappe. And yes you just decided to point it out to the whole class. Now shut your mouth and get back to the lesson.
-I wish I could live at Austin's 24/7. My parents wonder why I am never home. Well duh dad, when you call me fat and yell at me for 25 minutes straight, I tend to want to give you in the balls.

That felt good. Thank you and goodnight.

Detour.

So obviously I have not written in a while. I apologize. The reasons are... well... who really knows? But mainly just because I am a big fat lazy failure. It's fine. But I have decided to take a little break from the thirty day challenge because it is starting to drive me absolutely crazy. So the remainder of this post will be my thoughts on what has happened in my life for the past couple of weeks.

First things first. Drill.

Now you would think that since region is over, drill would calm down a bit, right? Wrong. It has actually gotten quite a bit more crazy. Our junior drill clinic and showcase is coming up so we have to choreograph two dances, plus the trio my friends and I are doing. Not to mention re-cleaning competition dances and re-learning camp routines. PLUS we are to provide two boys for two dances that will also be performed at the showcase. Stressful? I thought so. State games and tryouts are also right around the corner. State games should be fun. Except for the fact that we won't know if we will be performing until about... A few hours before the game begins. Not a big deal at all. Ha. Tryouts are the main thing on my mind right now though. Not because I am worried about not making the team, ( well, that too.) but mostly because we have got to expand the team... A lot. Otherwise they are canceling the drill program. So the last month has consisted of trying to recruit girls. Tryouts also mean that we lose this years team. This fact absolutely rips my heart to shreds. Unless you have been on a team as close as mine, then this will sounds stupid. But these girls are the whole reason I have made it through sophomore year. They are the reason I get up at fice every morning, and go work my butt off at drill. They are my team. My family. My sisters. And I can't imagine not having our seniors around next year. But anyways, onto the next topic.

Driving.


Just barely got my permit. I am super stoked, but this also stresses me out a lot more then it should because it means I will be getting my license soon. Which leads to one major fact: I need a car. If I want to be driving when I turn sixteen, then I need to start saving up for a car. Which means my summer will consist of three things, and three things only. Drill, work, and sleep. Goodbye social life. Which leads us to our third topic.

The Boyfriend.


Our relationship has been really... off lately. Very high highs and very low lows. An absolute bipolar relationship. Now this may be due to the fact that I have just been PMS beyond belief lately. And the kid is amazing for putting up with me for so long. (Five months and six days, to be exact.) But I honestly don't know how much longer he is going to hold on. I don't really know what to think of our relationship, seeings how it's my first real one, and I am planning on it being my last. Is that normal? I don't know. It just seems like whenever someone gets a shot at love, they hold on for dear life. The simplest upset can send someone's world crashing down because people are too careless and take love for granted. I for one, am not one of those people. And neither is Austin. We both realize that love is a very fragile thing, and that not very many people get the privilege of experiencing what we get to every day. And I would be absolutely devastated if that was taken away from me. He is such a sweetheart and my rock that keeps me standing when all I want to do is give up. But then I think... Is this how everyone feels in their first real relationship? I doubt it. Now onto topic four.

My Future.


I have been thinking about it so much lately. I was in St. George all weekend and the whole time, my grandpa was trying to talk me into going to Dixie college so I could live near them. It really got thinking about my options. I  have been severely unmotivated this year and have been letting my grades slip. And I have a feeling I am going to regret it in the long run. It makes me sick just thinking about it.


So there is just a little insight on what is going on in my life currently. I have an amazing life with amazing people in it, don't get me wrong. But a girl has got to vent every once in a while, right?

Day 12.

Because it is a saturday, and it is 2:38, I will be bulletting yesterday. (Merely, because it was far more entertaining then today has been.

BULLET YOUR WHOLE DAY:

• Woke up and got ready for school. (Partially)
• Went to school. (This was also partial)
• Took the permit test in study skills. Failed. Epically.
• Went to math. Secretly wanted to punch a certain someone in the face. Stupid know-it-alls.
• Went home during third. Huge English test I so was not ready for.
• Went to lunch at Wendy's. My cute boyfriend knows exactly what to get me every time.
• Went to chemistry. I am actually starting to get the hang of it.
• Tawnia and I went to my house after school. Sat in the bathroom listing to music and talking. Typical.
• Went to target and got some cute stuff for Sadie's. So pumped(:
• Went to Mitchell's. Watched them play 2k11 for a while.
• Looked at a sick-nasty picture of Hunter's missing finger.
• Went to pick up Mitchell's friend Kaden from physical therapy. Awkward.
• Dropped him off and went to pick up our awesome asian friend Tommy. He is super sweet.
• Decided to answer back Brianna, (Mitch's date) for Sadie's. And struggled. A lot.
• Went to partyland to get balloons and candy and ish.
• Tried to find a box at partyland to put all the ish in. They did not have one that was big enough.
• Went to The Home Depot to find a box. They also did not have one that was big enough.
• Talked to a super sweet mexican guy who gave us a box that a refrigerator came in. It was big enough.
• Tried to drive to Brianna's but realized the box did not fit in Matchell's car.
• Shoved the box in Matchell's car.
• Had to back seat drive Matchell all the way from Lehi to Lone Peak because he could not see to the right of him.
• Almost died. More than once.
• Got to Brianna's and had to put together her box outside. It was freezing and I had to pee.
• Put it on Brianna's doorstep and almost got caught. But not really.
• Lost Tawnee.
• Found Tawnee.
• Drove back to Matchell's.
• Kissed my cute boyfriend hello and had a piece of pizza.
• Went to the movies.
• Didn't go to the movies because Tanner is dyslexic.
• Went to SmartCookie to buy a frozen hot chocolate. Got really disappointed because they were out of syrup. Idiots.
• Played tag in the Cinemark parking lot.
• Went to Cold Stone.
• Went to 7/11.
• Went to Wingshack.
• Went back to Matchell's.
• Got in the hot tub.
• Got out of the hot tub.
• Got cramps really bad.
• Laid on the couch with my cute boyfriend and fell asleep.
• Woke up and went home.
• Talked to my mom for a bit, and decided to go to bed.
• Tried to get in bed but fell and hurt my knee really bad.
• Finally got in bed and fell asleep.

THE END.
Well that sure was the most obnoxious post ever.