Remember When.

Lately my life has been filled with far too many of these. I always catch myself saying, "remember when this and this happened? yeah.. I miss that." I miss a lot of things. I miss kissing tag. I miss scraped knees. I miss when boys had cooties. I miss when fights occurred on a daily basis, but you were over them within ten minutes. I miss crayons. I miss grass stains. I miss when your biggest worry was whether or not your mom was making meat loaf for dinner. I miss being young and carefree. Now all your worries are about what college your going to, what guy your planning on marrying, how far you went with your boyfriend last weekend, what the last fight was about between you and your parents, how horrible your grades are this week, which friend got hooked on marijuana last week. It's awful. I hate it. And I wish things would go back to the way they used be. But is that really possible? Can you just tweek everything to the point where your whole adolescence life is back in your hands? Because people change. They are always changing. They are growing up every second of every day. The girl you were best friends with in sixth grade, is a completely different girl that you pass by in the hallway today, while trying to avoid eye contact. Is it possible to be so compatible with the same people you were with in sixth grade, even if you and them have grown into something completely opposite? I honestly don't think that is how it works. You grew apart for a reason. And unless fate has some twisted future in mind for you, you can't grow back together just because you decide that that is what you want. It doesn't work that way. It never has. I wish this would stop happening to me.

I miss the old me.
Please come back.